I Freak Out

If I wrote a book, that would be the title.  I freak out so often, that I would even say I could consider it a skill. I can have a complete freak out meltdown, recover, and then go through my day.   No one would be the wiser (except maybe my cousin...he is an expert at dealing with it), and that is how I like it.  It takes a bit away from your credibility if you cannot go through the day without second guessing yourself, and falling apart.  I'm not saying this is a good thing.

The reason I freak out is probably, one part anxiety, one part neuroticism, one part emotional imbalance, and one part a tendency to be overdramatic.  It is a bad combination, and we do what we can to keep it in check.  Sometimes I can hold it off for awhile, but it generally is just better to get it over with and keep going.

If you haven't noticed, that is "My Thing": Moving forward, and keeping going.   Despite all my shortcomings, the amount I freak out, my up and down emotions...the only thing I push myself to do is move forward.  For me, this means keeping up (and doing well) with my schoolwork, and making sure I take the time to what I need or want to do.  Sometimes, in times of greater crisis, we move the requirements down to getting out of bed, showering, and completing the more basic things.  We try not to keep it there long, though. That may be moving forward, but ultimately I'm going to need a job, so schoolwork takes priority, despite it's current lack of direction.

I do not want to get stuck in a rut. I do not want to stop completely.  The longer you stop, the harder it is to pull yourself out. It's possible, don't get me wrong, but it's going to take that much more work and that much more determination.  I'm also not saying that if you're not doing the college thing you're going to get stuck in the rut--that is just my path.  As long as you're moving down your own path, you're fine.  As long as you're moving in the right direction, you'll get somewhere you'll be happy with.

Smile and Breathe xxx