Figuring It Out

I was not joking when I said smiling and breathing was the goal. In my more peaceful moments, I believe I have accomplished it. Sometimes days go by, and I smile, I breathe, I am completely, utterly happy. And then I'm not.

I remember I have nothing figured out.

The challenge here is to learn to be okay with how little I know. I need to learn how to be happy, despite the fact that life is not always within my control.

I need to learn to trust.

I have to trust that if I keep stumbling forward, I'll figure out something eventually. I have to trust that if I lose hold of the reigns my life won't go spinning out of control. I must trust that if life does spin away from me, I will be able to get it back, some way or another. I will have the capability to pick of the pieces.

I believe everyone has this capability--to trust and move forward. I also understand, however, how hard is to believe in yourself, especially when so much of life is outside of your control. I understand what it's like to be a constant disaster.

We just need to trust that it gets better. And it does.

Smile and Breathe xxx