Happiness is...Coming Home (Whatever Shape it Takes)

The other day, my all time favorite blogger over at Eat Move Write talked about a topic that struck a chord with me.  She said that, no matter where she was, when she wanted comfort she would say "I want to go home".  This describes me perfectly.  I can remember times where I'd be sitting in my own bedroom, freaking out, and whispering "I want to go home" over and over again.  I didn't understand it, but something in my gut told me to say it.  Somehow I knew, despite being in the house I grew up in, at this moment I was not at home.

For the past two mornings, I have woken up with that aching in my chest.  That feeling that just screams "I want to be home, I want to be home.  Why can't I go home?". It can be painful, but I brushed it off. I sent short texts to my dad, keeping them upbeat, so he didn't realize I was hurting.  I didn't want him to know I was missing him, or feeling sad. I didn't want him to worry.    

Tonight, however, I had a blast with my friends here at school.  We talked, we laughed, we sang and we ate cake I'll feel guilty about eating in the morning.  At one point I stopped and told my friend "We're going to remember this, this will be one of those times that stick out."  I still feel that it will be.  Tonight will be one of those brief high points that are so blissfully happy that they remain clear for years and years.  

Tonight, my home was my room at university. Home was the friends I with. It was sitting cross legged on my carpet talking and talking.  Home was laughing, jumping, singing, and confiding.  I am going to sleep tonight knowing I have come home.  

Smile and Breathe xxx