Forelsket and L'esprit de Escalier

When on stumbleupon today, I came across a list of words that don't exist in the English language. Words such as cualacino, an Italian word for the mark left on a table by a cold glass, and gheegle, the Filipino word for the urge to pinch something cute. As a lover of words, all were fascinating, but none were as poignant as forelsket and le'esprit de escalier.

Le'esprit de escalier, a French word, literally means "the spirit of the staircase". This, in of itself, is haunting. The meaning is intangible, and brings to mind old, creaky houses filled with left over memories. The literal meaning gains depth with the word's conventional usage. When used, it means the feeling you get after leaving a conversation, when you think of all the things you should have said.

This feeling is so universal, and striking, that it is almost unimaginable that there is no word for it in the English language. No simple way to describe the regret mixed with longing, the conversations that are repeated, and fixed thousands of times in the imagination after the fact. It truly is like the spirit of a staircase. While people can walk up and down a staircase thousands of time--the actual staircase remains stationary. Like a conversation where so much more should have been said, the staircase will only start and end in the same place. It will not change.

Regret can inhibit happiness. The "should haves", and "could have beens" hold people back from what can be. Although the staircase cannot move, we can. We can climb it, and move on. We can find new staircases to traverse. We cannot let ourselves get stuck in that one conversation, that one "could have been", that one staircase. It is important to accept what we cannot change, what is over and done with. It is difficult, especially if the ending was harsh, and unwanted, if it seemed unfinished, but we're not changing the past by remaining in it, and we definitely are not making a better future. The only way to make a bright a future is to let go of regrets and keep moving.

On a lighter note, forelsket is the Norwegian word for the euphoria you feel when first falling in love. This feeling is so distinct, so poignant; it is again strange that there is no word for it in English. Even hearing the word in a different language brings to mind the complete and utter happiness that comes with those early feelings of falling. The fact that such a word exist reminds me how much good is in the world, and how much of a capacity humans have for love. It reminds me of how lovely a thing love really is. It's important to remember--and too easily forgotten.

Smile and Breathe! xxxx